New Planet

Just the other day
As I was drinking
The nightly star display
Got me to thinking
What if I found a place in the sky?

Can you hear the sound
Across the nation
Pass the Nobel round
The adulation
Deafens children as they cheer
My fated destiny is clear

I'm gonna find a new planet
One with rings and volcanoes and trees
I'll be on TV with my discovery
And all the girls will want to go out with me

The president would call
He'd call me buddy
I'd take him to the mall
And everybody
That I hate would think I'm so great

Everyone would come
To see my planet
The planetarium
Would be a granite
Monument to history
A giant trophy just for me

Have they all been found?
I've been at this for hours!
Lying on the ground
Drinking whisky sours.

It's getting very old
This lying in the yard
Why was I never told
Astronomy is hard!

Why can't I find a new planet?
One with rings and volcanoes and trees
I should be on TV with my discovery
So all the girls will want to go out with me

What's that up above?
It's not a planet.
Some ugly kind of dove?
It can't be, can it?
Aren't they only
Part of history?

I wish I had a gun
So I could verify
That it's the very one
I want to classify
Although there's no way that I can tell
It may be a story I can sell...

I'm gonna find a new species
One with gills that shoots fire from its knees
I'll be on TV with my discovery
And all the girls will
Want to go out with me

Oh how real it seems
Once in a while in my daydreams