Two Bucks and I'm Yours

God came calling with a smile
I asked her in and we smoked for a while
She said I had ugly hands
But a lovely personality and few demands

Satan showed up it was right out of Chekhov
God did a table dance and took her shirt off
The Devil said she liked my hands
And then she turned to God and spoke real low and intense

She said

You are
everything
everything I have always ever been afraid of

I will
never learn
never learn to run way to run away from your love

I think I think I'm demon-possessed
I'm drinking gin and tonic and I'm much too well dressed
No sense in growing too forlorn
If I wind up getting what I'm asking for

My demon thinks I have a dirty mind
I compliment his evilness with lies in kind
But I'm not fooled, I'm just his whore
My soul's for sale, two bucks and I'm yours

Don't come any closer to me
Save yourself, there's still a chance
To live the good life free and clear
Learn tai chi and how to line dance

You could be the model home
A snow-gray lily of the field
Speaking bad French and reading Ethan Frome
Why don't you let your poor neighbor boy cop a feel
Come on, let the poor neighbor boy cop a feel!

CHORUS